rouge à lèvres: i heart bill maher

10.4.11

i heart bill maher

thank god for these podcasts...one of my new favorite quotes:

"i know you [republicans] hate the media; it doesn't mean your image doesn't appear on videotape. you're hypocrites, not vampires."

(~on the republican about-face regarding the libyan air strikes)

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coucou princesse!

"holy crap! am i outside?" ~ karen walker (will & grace, "marry me a little" episode
"you have to practice success. success doesn't just show up. if you aren't practicing success today, you won't wake up in 20 years and be successful, because you won't have developed the habits of success, which are small things like finishing what you start, putting a lot of effort into everything you do, being on time, treating people well" ~ michelle obama
"sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. don't lose faith. i'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that i loved what i did. you've got to find what you love. and that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. ~ steve jobs
"your brain is full of lollipops, rainbows, and cheese." ~ aldous snow
"y'all just bunch of cwazies" ~ baby audrey
"it tastes like somebody ate a bunch of hay and then farted into the cheese..." ~ susan
"i love my cats because i enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its...visible soul." ~ jean cocteau
"why can't you just admit that barack obama is one efficient, steely-nerved, multitasking, ninja gansta president?" ~ bill maher
"well, i'm actually feeling rather good about this. i think we all arrived at a very special place, eh? spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically..." ~~jack sparrow
"tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon" ~ alan / fat jesus
"fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months" ~ oscar wilde
this is not an appropriate time to say 'namaste'." ~ aldous snow
michael scott: "oh, hey, hey, should i bring a dictionary to the hospital?" oscar: "the hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus"
"damn that mother chucker!" ~ blair waldorf
He said, "If life gives you lemons, then thus god bade. So put a little bit of bitter in your pink lemonade" ~ harlem shakes
"again with the nature...what are you? beavers??" ~ phoebe
"so yesterday I'm sitting in a bean bag chair, naked and eating cheetos..." ~ ron white
"there seemed to be some correlation between devotion to god and a misguided zeal for marshmallows." ~~david sedaris
"i guarantee that if morning edition had to compete in the free market, you'd hear a lot more prank phone calls to the supreme court asking if that's a gavel "in their docket" ~~ stephen colbert
"m.j. at summer jam, obama on the text; y'all should be afraid of what i'm gonna do next...hold up" ~ jay z
"one never sees paris for the first time; one always sees it again..." ~~edmondo de amicis (1878)
"whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. i can never be what i ought to be until you are what you ought to be. this is the interrelated structure of reality." ~~martin luther king, jr.
"i am no fan of books, and chances are, if you're reading this, you and i share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. well, i want you to know that this is the first book that i've ever written, and i hope it's the first book you've ever read....i didn't write it. i dicatated it. i shouted it into a tape recorder over the columbus day weekend..." ~~stephen colbert
“i ate some potato chips,” he might say, to which i’d reply, “what kind?” or “that’s funny, so did i!” more often than not we’d just breathe into our separate receivers. “are you still there?” “i’m here.” “good. don’t hang up.” “i won’t.”" ~~david sedaris
"...i would like to beg you dear sir, as well as i can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." ~~ Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
"i find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. why refer to lady crack pipe or good sir dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?" ~~ david sedaris
"then there are the nursery rhymes. what's a cuter image than three little kittens that have lost their mittens? well, brace yourself: kittens don't wear mittens. i'm going to let that sink in. and why don't they wear mittens? because they'd just get caught on their razor-sharp claws" ~~ stephen colbert
“shit is the tofu of cursing.” ~~ david sedaris
"i had the right to remain silent... but i didn't have the ability." ~ ron white
"holy crap! am i outside?" ~ karen walker (will & grace, "marry me a little" episode

rouge à lèvres

10.4.11

i heart bill maher

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